More Tales of Paula

Paula excelled herself today – and we haven’t even set off on our holidays!

Her opening trick of the day was to pinch my keys. I always leave them on top of the fridge but yesterday I had left them on the table which is Paula height – not whippet or dog height but Paula height! After much searching I eventually found them in the grass where she had been having a little taste.

I’m very much a ‘last minute’ person and had gone into Roscommon to pay a few bills and buy one or two bits. So, as I always do, I left Paula curled up on the passenger seat. I swear I was only away from the car for 45 seconds before I realised that I had left my phone in the car (again). I dashed back to find that Paula was happily adapting the phone to her own specifications – yes, another one! Fortunately though, I had just got to her in time to rescue it before it became un-useable. But the screen is not too bright and the buttons are pitted with her teeth marks.

That’s not all – I needed to go into another shop so I checked to make sure there was nothing that she could destroy and off I went. I was away for about 10 minutes and when I returned, Paula had removed the button from the end of my windscreen wiper switch. As it was only a little chewed I took it off her and pushed it back into place. That’s when the fun started!

I settled myself into the car, put my seatbelt on; then I switched the engine on. I got the shock of my life as all the wipers (back and front) started going on ‘very fast’ mode, the window washer pumped water continuously onto the windscreen and I was – apparently –  going to turn left, according to the flashing indicator. Now, I know it doesn’t sound too bad, but as I wasn’t expecting it, it really took me by surprise and my brain refused to tell me what to do! The other shoppers in the car park must have thought I was a mad woman – giving my windscreen the best wash it had ever had. After a few seconds of slight panic, not knowing which buttons to press, my brain unscrambled and I turned off the ignition – aren’t I smart!

I sat there for a while trying to remove the button that my little darling had chewed but, of course, it’s never that simple. I had done a good job putting it back! So, after lots of beeping of the horn (by accident and much to the surprise of passers by) I managed to remove the button, straightened it and replaced it – problem solved. But not until I had wondered how long the water would last in the windscreen washer if I had to drive home washing the windscreen all the way.

The result of today’s little episode is that I went to my son’s house and picked up a dog guard that I left in his kennels. Sadly, Paula has shot herself in the foot – she will be in the back of the car when I am on the ferry – who knows what my car would look like if I leave her on the passenger seat as I originally intended!

Paula is off on Holiday

Sassy has pinched Paula's favourite toy - apparently!

Paula and I are off to England on Thursday. This will be a challenge as anyone who knows Paula will appreciate. I am hoping that, when we are on the ferry, she doesn’t eat my car. However, the most challenging thing about the journey will be finding food that Paula will eat. You see, she is a bit of a fussy eater, at the moment she eats five sausages for breakfast – but only if they’re cooked a certain way! If I don’t cook them to her liking, she eats a couple of small pieces and leaves the rest. So, as am I a slave to her every whim, I put them back in the microwave for an extra minute then cool them down for her. When I put them back in her dish, she eats them with enthusiasm. I swear she looks at me as if to say, “Thanks heavens you have learned how to cook!”

Her tea is raw meat – only raw meat! I tried giving her a tin of dog food a couple of times but she sniffs delicately at it then turns up her nose with distaste and walks away. Fancy expecting her to eat dog food! What an insult. So raw meat it is then.

This is the very first time in my whole life that I have accommodated any dog in this way, but if I didn’t she would prefer to starve!  Anyway, wish me luck taking my little girl on holiday – I’m gonna need it!

Dognappers?

For the very first time since I have had Paula, I was grateful on Thursday that she is very wary of any strangers that come to the house. To set the scene, my house is on about half an acre. The house stands in the middle of the land and the whole of the perimeter is fenced with chain link. There is a double gate that is closed with a chain and clip which is on the inside of the gate. I have very few close neighbours and no-one ever walks past the house – only cars driving past. The fencing that is on the roadside is not see through, so a car whizzing past would not notice my little dog out in the garden.
Anyway, on Thursday I was inside the house working on the PC as I usually do, with the back door open so Paula could play out, when I heard her bark a little. Now that is unusual in itself but, as I was expecting my son to call, I didn’t get up to see if anyone was around. After a minute or two and my son hadn’t appeared, Paula had gone quiet so I got up and went out of the back door and around the side of the house to see what Paula was up to.
She was standing (in flight mode) watching a rather large middle aged lady fiddling with the gate chain whilst trying to encourage Paula to come to her. Fortunately, Paula will not greet anyone with enthusiasm (unless they bring a playmate for her). So, I said to the woman ‘Can I help you?’ She looked at me, then turned away without saying a word, got into the passenger side of a car that was parked near my gate and drove off!
The only reason that I can think of was that she was trying to pinch my Paula! Why else would she not say a word to me when only seconds before she was trying to get Paula to come to her? I can not come up with another explanation.
So, this is the one and only time that I have been grateful for Paula’s reluctance to be friendly when anyone comes to the house!
Be on your guard – I most certainly am now!

Bathing Paula…

When I first got Paula, she would follow me everywhere – to the kitchen, to the bedroom even to the bathroom.

Paula and her baby...

One day, after she had been with me for about a week, I went to have a shower but didn’t close the bathroom door properly (I live alone – so it didn’t matter). So there I was, washing my hair when a furry critter landed in the bath. I’m not sure who was most surprised – Paula or me! She wasn’t too keen on this wet stuff and the very slippery surface under her feet and I wasn’t too keen at having a pup in the shower! So after much panic on her part and exasperation on mine, we got out of the shower. When I got out, I dripped bubbles from my hair whilst I dried Paula. To add insult to injury, after I had rinsed the shampoo from my hair and finished showering, I went into the sitting room and found that my sweet little girl had nicked the toilet roll and spread it all around the furniture – apparently my interior design needed some help. Do you know how much stuff there is on one toilet roll? A lot, especially when it’s all ripped up!

Note: To the person who said they liked the stories but doubted that they were true –  every single tale about Paula is ABSOLUTELY TRUE and there are more…

Expensive Dog

My little angel cannot be trusted alone in the car for more than 30 seconds.

Paula of Arabia...

I learned that the hard way.
In the beginning I would leave her sitting on the seat just watching the world go by – she always has her favourite bone in the car if she is bored of the passers by. Then one day, after calling at my sons house, I went back to the car to find Paula sitting amongst about €400 of €20 notes with my credit card and the rest of the contents of my purse scattered around the car. I had just been to the bank for cash and left my purse in the door of the car as I had done several times before.
Happily for Paula, she had not eaten any of the money. For me it is a lesson learned – if I don’t want Paula to play with it – lock it away or don’t leave it in the car.

I am going to England at the end of the month to visit family and Paula will be spending 3 hours in the car whilst I am on the ferry. I think I should invest in a crate that will fit in the car to ensure that it is still drivable when we get to the other end. My handbrake is already a tad chewed and she has started on the wiper switch!

My Little Thief

Paula jumps on my desk if she knows I have some sweets on the windowsill near where I work. I began to think that early Alzheimer’s was setting in and I had forgotten about eating them. I didn’t know about my little thief until I caught her at it one day, I had gone into the kitchen to make coffee and went back to get my cup, to be confronted by Paula standing delicately amongst my paperwork eating her way through my Minstrels. The silly thing is, if I offered her one, she would turn her nose up at it!

Paula does the High Jump…

Lesley has a child safety gate for the dogs to keep them in the kitchen if she needs to. No problem for Paula, up and over in a second! So, when we visit and need the dogs to stay in the kitchen (usually after tearing round the garden and getting wet and muddy) the door has to be closed. There is no baby gate that can enclose my girl.

My Little Angel…

These days nearly every pair of glasses that I have are very uncomfortable to wear. They scratch the skin behind my ears. Why. I hear you ask?  One word – Paula!

She has chewed nearly all my glasses – and some of Lesley’s too. As far as Paula is concerned, if she can reach it – it’s fair game.

Shhh, I'm sleeping...

 To be honest though, she can reach just about anything. When she stayed at Lesley’s for a few days, she was left safely in the kitchen for an hour whilst Lesley went out. On her return Lesley found the hot water tap running (it works with a lever), a bottle of detergent empty in the sink and footprints on the windowsill and Paula sitting innocently on the dog sofa. If it hadn’t been for the footprints on the windowsill, no-one would have believed that the culprit was the sweet and adorable Paula. The whole of the hot water tank had emptied and the outside drains were full of bubbles from the detergent. Lesley looked at the little dot that was Paula (at 5 months she only weighed about 13lbs) and just couldn’t believe that she could cause such a mess. She had jumped on the counter top to see what Lesley had left there and decided that, as there were no goodies, she would check out the detergent bottle and must have knocked the tap at the same time.

Service With a Smile

This is a snippet from a lovely 2010 diary that Lesley bought for me yesterday – thought I would share it.

A man wrote a letter to a Midwest town hotel he planned to vist on his vacation. He wrote “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said ” I have been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time I have never had a dog steal towels, bed clothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog for being drunk and disorderly and I’ve never had a dog run out without paying his bill. Yes, indeed your dog is welcome in my hotel. And if your dog will vouch for you – you’re welcome to stay here too!”

The website is www.getupandgodiary.com     Just thought I’d share that – it made me smile!

How to Catch a Whippet – or not…

Paula is a great dog. However, she has a flaw – the recall. As far as she is concerned, she only knows her name if I am offering something she wants.

Paula, watching flies.

When I first moved to my present house I checked all the fences to make sure they were secure. Obviously, as it turned out, I didn’t do a great job. One day, after we had been here for a couple of days, I went outside to see what Paula was up to (the back door is always left open) and she was no-where to be seen! I tried shouting for her, but no response. Then I just happened to glance down into the field that is next to the garden and there she was, chatting to the cows.

Calling her brought absolutely no response so I climbed over into the field and tried to entice her to come to me. Not a hope – she had some new friends and I was surplus to requirements! So, I followed her down the hill and watched helplessly as she had a great time chasing a bunny around the field (it got away!).

Anyway, after about an hour of trying everything in my repertoire to encourage her to come back;  like sitting down in the field and being really interested in the blades of grass (well, it has worked before with others!), walking away (she couldn’t have cared less) and calling her name in an excited and happy voice (I’m glad I have no close neighbours!), I gave up and just followed her around until she got tired and the cows had lost interest. I followed her back up the field to near our garden.  She came to me only because she wanted to get back into the house for a drink and had forgotten how she had got out in the first place.

 So after a hike across three fields, two streams and a lot of nettles and brambles, I could have just stayed at the top of the hill and watched and waited, because I really should have known that I would have no chance of catching her unless she wants to be caught! For the remainder of that day I went round every inch of the fencing and I defy a mouse to find its way out now!